All The Wrong Reasons

It seems to me that we create all our own love dilemmas. Well, almost all. My point is that we create our own issues simply by loving for the wrong reasons.

Desperation and loneliness are the two worst reasons for dating, falling in love or marrying someone. Its also an insult to the person you’re with.

Imagine finding out that the person you’ve been falling in love with for the past few months has only been with you because he/she doesn’t want to be alone, is desperate for a relationship or simply sees a relationship as a measure of self worth. Not nice.

It feels like you’ve been used.

Desperation and loneliness cause a person to fixate on whoever is available and matches a (very) few of the criteria. The person you “fall in love with” then loses his/her individuality and becomes the “object of affection”. We then continue to create in our minds a version of the object that match all of the criteria, even though the person is nothing like the version we created.

Problems arise when we realise that the object and the person do not resemble each other at all, or worse, the person realises that you hold an unrealistic view of them. This is hurtful to both parties involved as disillusionment steps in.

Be aware of your reasons for liking someone. The only good reason to fall in love with a person is that your life would suck without them (NOTE: person, not object).

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